Abyss: an introspective

Way down in the abyss where my soul is lost
no light reaches, and yet
I can picture the stars somewhere far above
in my mind’s eye.

When all seems hopeless, I stop and stare
into nothing, where nothing
can be seen and a despondency
pervades my heart.

Deep deep in the abyss where my soul is lost
I can but feel, nothing.
No cares, no passion, no wish, just so weighed down
that nothing matters, except

this feeling of endless, suffocating despair and
inability to care, but
I remember that somewhere far above
is the Light.

The Light creates, the possibility of being,
of being human once again,
where things matter and beauty can be perceived, so
I hang on.

I have been here before and know that if I hold faith,
bright, beautiful belief,
that Light will reach me, deep in my abyss and
I will breathe purpose again.

When I can see the star light, I climb.
It is painful and requires
a purging of my heart and mind that rips
my soul to shreds.

It leaves me gasping for air.

Shivering, I sit on the top and watch the hole begin
to mend itself.
Perhaps this time I will not tear it apart anew and
tumble back into black.

Hope is my coin that I pay in full to believe
that I will not return.
The hill heals and grass covers what was my sorrow.
Above, stars sparkle and beckon.